Seek light in darkness

2012-02-10T17:38:00.010+08:00

here i stand by my own.

i wont b a fool

upon those star above me, will be mine one day..

i shouldnt have make it a big deal with it and share it, coz it drag me to pour in pain.

i should have known and sure that i would bring this to it. fuck that shit. just screw it.

i had someone and yet i feel lonely, dont you understand me, dont you really feel it?.

my mind blew up and insanely that i couldnt stop whenever i heard or think of it.

you're my first when ever i need someone ear, but you make it sadder put those to the link and making feel angry and sad. you the one who ask me to tell anything went im upset and whatever shit. and so it like im all you want to blame. dont you fucking know i fuck know what is the problem. those words you give have lighten me but your mind, said other stuffs right????

tomorrow we shall meet and i wanna say something but this, it make me doubt. sigh~

i want to open my deepest sorrow and secrets that would make our relationship betta but but why must you write those stuffs and ur mind. and i badly want to see your true colours, it's making insanely just wanting to know who the full you dear, im keen to know and learning about you. but you making me hard now. what do you really see in me dear?. a helpless kid, right?.

therefore, i'm a girl who doesnt want to grow up and afraid of reality.

everyone has their room of happiness one day and soon or later it will be all clear as crystal.. ..

2012-02-03T02:36:00.021+08:00

the life of a misery hidden girl.

i wish i could shout it out loud. not to let anyone know about it but just want to know that i had someone who care for me and tell me its going to b alright if couldnt just hold me tight so i wont fall.

i hated what has happen to me and my family these few years and months. i dont know what to do, just fall back behind and pray. i needa someone to listen with it sincerely and pay attentions what am i about to say cause i hate to repeat myself if i do cause im happy or forgotten about it.. at this a upon of time, i need someone who wont fail me down now but who really care about it, im just stubborn and useless girl and i dont regret that. i keep faking it, hidden it and act it, thinking this is only a delusion but somehow its yes and no.

my heart is softer by you, my feelings fallen by you, my soul is joined with you. can you feel me thur the cold bone of mine darling?.. im pouring at times and the most hurting is when i pour in silence.

oh why dear mum, why must you be so secretive, saying about tat im so too.. but she more worster and i couldnt say it here. im shaking in fear of my future, i cant depend on my famliy so much.. money money money.. im in serious need of job badly right now!!!!!

help me. :'(

goodnight my fellow creatures.

2012-01-21T00:46:00.008+08:00

olla my fellow creatures..

love to write here back dhen..

we can write in anyway and size our pics. more creating the way we wanted to be like..

more much nicer and simple.

imssyoublog.

2010-06-22T23:57:00.003+08:00

KitshaticVamp

move to tumblr..<3>

2010-05-27T00:03:00.002+08:00

No matter what they said about you,
No matter how they trying to pull you
away from me.. ..

i know how i'm,
i know my weakness,
thank for letting me know it..
but please stop repeating it...

you in a hard situation,
am in rushing mood, care less with people i love.
i didnt mean it..

have trust in me..
cause i'm try to have a faith alittle.
my believe is still dead..
i want to complete and clear it..
please understand me..

holidays is near.. hopefully all is solve.

my love i miss you.. ;[

2010-05-24T00:37:00.006+08:00

lately, my close ones getting sick..
why ehk?...
me too.. huhu..
cure me fast GOD and to my loves ones.. amin~

and i miss some of them.. <3

2010-05-21T12:48:00.003+08:00

I DON'T FEEL YOURS.. ;(

for eu ezzz..

2010-05-16T20:44:00.007+08:00

i dont know how to said it to you..
hearing my dear beloved friends saying about you..
they didnt said what it is..
your attitube in and out..
i want to know more about your dear.
my trust and believes of youu.. i dont know dear..
i miss you ezz..

and im sorry..

for eu ezzz..

2010-05-16T20:44:00.001+08:00

2010-05-11T12:12:00.007+08:00

Oh star fall down on me, Let me make a wish upon you..
Hold on, let me think. Think of what I'm wishing for.

is nothing much.. i wish it was easier..

❤

2010-05-05T14:39:00.003+08:00

wake in the mornin, urgh. i wish to sleep back..
troublin' sleepin' lately maybe my thoughs, you, llinness.. all.. haix..
hit me people.
went to doc this mornin', 2nd tyme and going to go again next Mondaee.. isk.
i want this cure nowwwwwwww!!!!.. shall wait..
and,
dear I MISHHH YOUUUUU!
hopefully meet you tomorrow..

( i miss walking slowing outside)

my hurts, eu, life...

2010-05-04T11:06:00.003+08:00

for everythings..

dear left me in the rain..

2010-04-29T15:11:00.004+08:00

and the future hangs over our heads
and it moves with each current event
until it falls all around like a cold steady rain
just stay in when it’s looking this way

i know.. :(

2010-04-27T12:40:00.009+08:00

urgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wakeup early in the morning, by my sisters,they were gettin ready for school..

school.. i miss alot.. i miss my dear friend.. i miss you. ;(

haix.
about 9am, went to go doctor. go for an Xray cause..
yesterdae went to doctor too, ask me to go Xray..
so yar...
over there full of outsider people. btw, its at Aljunied..
like of coz, that sort of peopl there..
hahaaa..
when, its time for my Xray..
doc ask me to look straight and dont move.
i move.. - -''
doc kept tellin' me dont to move.
they FUCKIN' dont UNDERSTAND my situation..
was going to cry though..
watever.
end so long. URGH!.
at homie now..
peace. "_

2010-04-26T12:35:00.002+08:00

still

2010-04-25T16:31:00.005+08:00

i am..

tears..

2010-04-25T02:11:00.003+08:00

what does it means dear?

2010-04-23T16:58:00.004+08:00

pls cure

2010-04-22T12:27:00.002+08:00

i dont really know what to say..
all i could do is wait
to cure.. =(

2010-04-16T01:09:00.002+08:00

these two day, didnt get enough sleep coz of my work which i want to finish it quick. My eyes kept get red at night that shown me. lately, didnt get to see him much since we both are busy, though ready he said that he will be buzy when school reopen.. .. i just so miss him. haix. Yesterdae, he text .. i dont know.. im attitude?.. do i understand hym or izit you dear.. i really dont want this kinda arugement.. small matter??.. mmm.. its just me make long thoughs..

my believe.. my wants.. my hope.. my happiness.. it doesnt matter to me now..

hope today i would able to see you.. ..

neck

2010-04-09T21:22:00.005+08:00

NEckless which is i prefer.. urgh. plus my lazyness driving me lazy and laziierrr..
so frustating!! giving me DAMN headaches.. every time i lift my head.. if i lay that long.
school is fucking near and i got to drag myself to go..
this head of mine so troubling me..

also work of my school work.. so dead.. many undone..
waste my holidaes and quite BORING!.
it wouldnt be bored if my neck is okae!!.
GRRH!..

YARR2... my fault i know i think!.
and all i know is complain..
it just unfair to me.. ;'(

im so like a lazy pig.. - -''

2010-04-06T19:50:00.003+08:00

here i'm...

laying on the sofa.. lazying to get off of it. ~hehs.
when through facebook, like the other teenager do.
but, damn it!.. cant get the free wireless.. -.-
trying to get the connection.. but still counldnt.
never mind.

still in at the sofa, stting.. out through the day..
im so lazy. damn. am like so like a pig..
cause of my neck.. maybe when its better..
i would do something else then this..
haix..

so frustrating, you know.. haix..
but im glad my pain gone but still keep turn to right.
wish it recover fast.. pretty please.. please..
i want to be with him.. erm.. he got camp todae..
hugs you is what i want..

today im lazying, frustrated still, missed and
tomorrow let my neck cure abit atleast.. please.. im begging.. ;(

2010-04-02T17:46:00.004+08:00

at home, toade, doing nothing most of the tyme.. my small crazy sis and myself while others went out of nowhere.. (kiddy. hahs..) ermm.. waiting my samll sis to finish her dwload pics and posting blogs and so on.. teens. hehs.. eat mee rebuus, chocolate ♥ ♥ 2 yokurt ♥ .. yummy2.. want more chocolates!! =DD

totally bored todae for me.. he txt afew.. his pp8 low but its okae.. his computer got crash. pity of hym coz his work his done the new assg.. he really2 tired eu noe.. stare at the damn computer srceen.. haix.. wish i could help. sorie dear.. at afternoon, i dunnoe what tyme go listen people talking.. im lazy to go but i noe i got to rite..

i have not pray.. and cause my neck to hurt.. im freaking gonna die. hehs.. balasan from god i guess.. huhu..

still kept me thinking

2010-04-01T08:02:00.005+08:00

my love i have now.. is for you..

and it's growing slowing i felt.
you said you are following the flow.
i am too dear..

said you want to take care of me.
said im loving and sweet..
understanding..
and i said what are we?..

were lovers..
forever together..

no promising. im glad..
if have make me believe..
haix..

eu dun like to see me emo.. hahs..
i'll try to erase it but help and be patience kae dearie..

for this love,
theres you and i.

stupid lappy..

2010-02-02T13:56:00.008+08:00

!won't be posting till i get my lappy fix..!
haix.. lappy dear please fix by urself..
huhu ;(

thoughts.. ..

2010-01-23T13:38:00.006+08:00

thoughts..

wish to go far far away from this realti..

now know and its hard to believe it.. these few days, well, i kept thinking it..

it just appear. you guys start to say out his name. to pass it.. .. soon then.. people said your name. my dear friend give me a tip. thankz.. =] mmm.. i just want to say for hym.. good luck in everything you d. i pray for your rigth path to follow.. once again, take me away from this world..

raindrops.

restless..

2010-01-18T13:50:00.010+08:00

hey people! ermm.. i didnt update cozof my lappy is sot.. damn it.

urgh.. what the use of going to school today.. i havent do the searchs and works to show to the teacher. well is a waste of going to sch.. sch internet is not working good.. got to land my sis lappy.. yesterday was boring and somehow i enjoy it, the truth. sorry faz.. you shouldnt have take me out.. well, i got the feeling is going be not the plan way it is but thankz faz.. =) thankz.. im bless to have a friend like yoou. i just dun get with my other friend. well, my comment of her.. she seem more to her bf then her friend.. when she got bf.. when not with us.. what is this??.. i dun have the guts to said to her. i just hate it.. urgh!. she will never noe it till we tell her. mmm.. hope i done some of my work today. hate to doing searchs..!! ~pff

ps: my english totally suck!

bbye..

2010-01-02T10:15:00.011+08:00

hey yaw!
this my photoshoot that i take the dae of countdown.. =DD totally bored hehe..
at night went to jogging wit my small sis. people celebrate.. hahaa.. but we not!
weii need leh. waste of time.. jogging and workout was fast..
home by 11plus.. and watch the countdown show nearly to midnight..
well the show is quite borring.. gah.. .. firworks was abit long and i want to see it leh.
real life nice home nope not nice.. hahaa..

and todae..
wakeup 10 plus..
and again didnt go take bus same.. endup faz had to went down the bus again.. sorry fuzzy..
well she didnt text me that she in the bus, she text me went she at around Pasir Ris. Hpmh.
never mind.. but waste her money leh.. sorry hehe.. anyway i was late ready.
cozof waking up late and bath late.. hahaa.. =DD
but fad was late too.. so we both go ahead to tamp1 mall..
not so long enough, fad she she arrived ready.
so we went to mrt..
we go to Bugis.. fad wanna go shopping. i was too and faz..
hoping i there something i wanted.. but sadly nothing.. ~huu..
im so sick of shopping.. watever.. fad brought some clothes, bag and shoe.
after that we went to Vivo, that i plan.. to play water.. hehe..
firstly we went to grab food. poor fuzzy was hungry. Long John Silver we go.
there was full and so we take away the food..
ate oudside of the Vivo and the sky was gery.. so wanna rain.
we just went out and find a place to eat.
ermm.. me with my knife and fork. am so hardly to eat it..
somehow i got to finish it.. soon we finish the food.
the speak of the devil. the rain pour.. ish.. fuzzy uh..
so went inside walking.. hahahaa.. while other people running..
soon after it stop, we went out again and go search place to sit.
i walking in the water.. but bored leh.. huhu..
so then we went back to Tampines.. hangout for awhile at top tamp1 mall..
~fuuhh we were to dead fully tired. our feet couldnt take it.no more. hahaa..
about 8plus we make a move to went homie..
bought a bus with faz..
at home, as pernormal at night watch tv. and surf net..
slept at about 3plus..

and that's all.. =)

new year come..

2010-01-01T04:01:00.005+08:00

HEY YAW PeoPLe!!!!!!

is new year already!.. so hope gonna be a blasting year ahead.. =D

so best wishes to all my beloved friends and family..

and gd bbye 2009 year..

eeELLO! 2010!

HAPIE NEW YEAR !!!!!!!

2009-12-30T13:54:00.003+08:00

I Caught Myself lyrics

You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought of you

Of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want

You got it, you got it, some kind of magic
Hypnotic, hypnotic, you're leaving me breathless
I hate this, I hate this, you're not the one I believe in
With God as my witness

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought of you

Of you
You're pushing and pulling me down to you
But I don't know what I want
No, I don't know what I want!

Don't know what I want
But I know it's not you
Keep pushing and pulling me down
When I know in my heart it's not you

Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought
Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself
From saying something that I should've never thought of you

I knew
I know in my heart it's not you, I knew
But now I know what I want, I want, I want
Oh no, I've should have never thought!

2009-12-30T13:29:00.002+08:00

cries in sleep..
STOP IT! STOP IT!
i couldn't
ANYONE COULD YOU BRAINWASH ME?!?

2009-12-27T22:15:00.002+08:00

urgh.. im sick! gosh...

i dun want tis.. i cant go to pit tmr.. MAN!

i miss my dear friendz..

and.. EEeeuw.. i vomit.. in color orange..

so hard to sleep.. kept talking.. hehe.. and ate some chococlates.

i couldnt help it leh.. my sistaz eating it.. only some only..

but last i wen to sleep. hahaa..

when im awake.. stiill same.. headache and stomach pain.. no vomit. luckly..

hope i be okae tomorrow.. hate tis leh.. I seriously. WANNA TO MIT MY FRENS..

~Huu..

these two daes

2009-12-26T01:30:00.002+08:00

last two daes.. went to watch avatar again.. in 3d mood.. my uncle belanje..

wit my cuzz, sistaz and aunt.. went to watch it an d night..

MAN! the 3d glass hurts my eyes.. ouch!. dun like it.. kept opening it..

home by midnight..

and todae, my uncle want to belanje again.. now is food..

at simpang Bedok.. dun realli like that sort of place..

i eat many.. ~fuuh.. so full leh..

help my sis to open the prawn.. ugrh.. lazy of them..

after eating, we went to Changi Village and Beach..

walk walk.. my aunt buy clothes for her and her daughter..

me and my sistaz and cuz.. walk2.. felt boring abit.. coz of waiting of them..

then suddenly a WEIRD man near us.. urgh.. WTH.. kept looking at us..

so we move other place.. and also saw one crazy woman dance.. hahaaa..

then we.. went to beach.. so many ppl camping.. most full of family..

home at midnight again.. so damn tired.. couldnt wait for my bed.

and that night i kept waking up.. felt somethink in my stomach.. so pain.. hope its nth..

ZZZzzzz

wit fii and lin..

2009-12-23T20:44:00.001+08:00

well.. went out with them. so random.. hahaa..

went to Orchard and Bugis.

so tired leh.. do alot of walking.

over there we shop.. and i bought few..

hehs..

so thats all could write..

nites ppl..

2009-12-22T20:42:00.004+08:00

todae went out to Dohby Ghaut..
wit my itemates.. =) miss them.. i was late.. hehs..
reach there and they said.. "what movie do you want to watch?"
and i didnt know and i tot that they wanna walk.. .. hahaa.. the movie tis week not so good..
to me..

so they all decide to watch.. "AVATAR"
so i just ermm.. anythink can laa..
atleast we watch it rite... better then nth.. am i RITE??
and the movie was great tot i it was not good.. haha
i go to go early.. ~huu sorie guys..
sleep abit early today.. coz ytd slep late..

thats all fokes!..

good2 dae..

2009-12-18T22:26:00.002+08:00

weelll, todae.. ermm.. okae2 uh.. not so boring.. =)

i went ite east.. urgh. dun like that place. coz i company rau to apply.
hope she could it.. you will have my pray..

"dun cry my dear fren..
..well god is testing you" im sayint the true..

i little todae.. hehes..

ate banana in morning, rice for lunch and apple for dinner.. lol..

eu think is ggood??.. hehs..

AND AT NITE!!!
help my grandma..
BURN SOMETINK..
the FIRE Sooo Nice..

BEAUTIFUL!

todae

2009-12-17T23:20:00.003+08:00

kluar agi uh kwn2kush..
i really nid laughters.. =(
wit eu guys my tots kill.. ...

LOVE YOOU GUYS SO MUCCH!!! (rau too)

todae again play NERF GUNS..lolx.. DAMN EU SUFI!!
tkperr... ahaaa..ermm.. at homie..

doing nth.. most to net.. hehe.. (SO DUN GOOD) no life! hahaa..
poor baby mai.. she sick. so good she quiet.. hahs.
nth much to type..

gtg gonna clean my stuff.. =D
hope i clean it properly. hahs..
bbye..

boredom now

2009-12-16T18:40:00.008+08:00

wakin at about 11plus. ~hehs..

my arms still abit in pain..(urgh!)
staright away play wit my cuz toy NERF..
GUNs! hahs. CRAZYFUN. LOL
wat akid. always am.. =)
most at surfing net.. bored! headache..

recap yesterday..
when to east coast beach wit my gurlfrens.. =)
lots of laughter.. and WTH.. i fell over a stupid rock!
luckly nt bad in hurt..
eat BURBER KING and YOGURT
and i dunnoe about the burger king so much..
order BK Chicken. its NICE. <3

LOVE THEM!! BBF. <3
eu guys alwayS make my day.. ..

miss again.. of the laughter..

how fun am i having..

2009-12-13T00:52:00.005+08:00

how fun am i having...

picS explain it all..

well at night,
the stars is so beautifull to see.. (haiz.)
laying down looking at it.. wishing?.
i dunnoe nomore to wish for.

my faith. who could ever .. ..?..
nevermind.
just can stare and keep quiet.
in my own world.. ..
i couldnt sleep cozof my headache.. (ugrh)

the nite is cold and i dun care.
couple walking..
how happy they are together.
love?.
my heart is more harden cozof you.
afraid to open and trust.
wanna to talk to someone but didnt want to trouble them.
mind. not in clear.. ..
in saddness i think of you..
togetherness.. happiness..
when will i b?..(haix)
but i noe im not alone.. ..

2009-12-11T23:50:00.001+08:00

well.. my daes being quite fine..
ydt nite.. tis young guy. love each other back then. chat wit me.. suddenly saying sorie.. now..
haix.. rmbring the past. stop saying ily. i just noe anymore.. sorie. im losing it.. ..

anw, chat wit my frew here.. fadilah.. she was crazy tat night.. LOL.

and today.. go out with my cuz and sistaz.. treat some of them for their birthdaes.. =)
watching moviess... and how long i been waiting to watch NEW MOON. <3>

loves alice. she pretty.. and love bell hair. its lovely..

the movie it just so lovely to watch.. touching for me.. saddness most i could felt it.
haiz.. to love.. im afraid. to hurt its okae but to hurt when happen twice.
its just so.. .. urgh. afool i felt. how could you..
STUPID STUPID ME!
i just hate it..

forget it.. let it be..

some photos.

HARI RAYE HAJI?! boredness..

2009-11-27T05:21:00.002+08:00

wish i had stay home. but cnt dont want to make any fuss..
so pernormal i wake late. yesterday, slept late.
haix.. talking to my dear friend khaii.. to let my mind out.
just felt so stupid and felt soo angry.. felt like a toy.
how could i be so blind and stupid.
i dont want to find about it and watever..
i couldnt care know the truth. be it.
and thanks for nothing. wait fucking tears..
waste it again.

back to today, my family and i went to visit our famliy house.
about 2o'clock we went out.. gosh.. just so bored over there.
adult talk talk as always.. child playing.. teens talk and felt bored.
teens cant harding wait to go back.. i ate little.. some kuih and cakes..
went home late... urrgh!.. wasting time over there... attutitub(??) hehs..

otw home.. me and my sister wanted to go to airport..
so yar.. bath and change. and go..
alot of people over there.. we went to Macdonal to play net and eat.
my sis ask me to try the avarta burger.. so i try it and finish quickly..
is was delicious and tasty.. yummy2.. sadly i forgot to give some of it to my small sis. hehs. sorie..
we brought lappy to play and play it till it went dead..
truth enough we did.. nope my small sis did.. ish.. never mind.
we went home, reached at about 11plus..

took some shots.. hehs.. alike of us is we like to take piCs!!!.
lazy to upload..

empty. dead.
but i'll keep going on.. my family i worries and my dear friend those make me alive..
you make me more harden. i just couldnt understand you..
dont need to said anything. make me wonders and now i will be mute for you.
COWARD. LIER.

gosh.. thanks.. really man!
ya allah.. make me inhuman they just so not bless of my kindness.
stone me..

wat izit..

2009-11-26T17:21:00.002+08:00

true or not?..
im just dun noe..

i even cant help myself .. now, eu..
should never fall for it..
ite urgh. so many i hates..
i realli wan to get out of here..

friends kill me..
living suck.
i at home and beach more better..
wish im rich.. no nid to sch..
study study.
i must.. gah..

??? lame nonsense i dun noe..

2009-11-24T23:30:00.003+08:00

didnt when school today, im just tired and lazy. i would be wasting time there aniwae.. what the use of going then.. .. watever. so at home doing autocad but.. SHIT! i dun know watz wrong with it.. so waste that i download. DAMN! few daes back i went to Ochard with my small sis. wanted to buy nana birthday present.. end up buy a small gift. gah~ do do you think is okae??.. my sis it is. so yar.. give on the monday which is her bdae.. hahaa.. celebrate with our classmate after sch over.. okae uh.. hehs.. then after she and Danny went out.. with a bike. cool.. hahs.. buying the present is on friday night.. im just so sick of home back then.. on sat wanted to go to school but i wakeup late.. feeling so restless.. gosh.. coz of the firday night tot i would walk around late could find him.. but didnt.. its okae. on Sunday, when to schoola about 11plus.. doing 3dmax abit. wasted i noe. my family want to go to watch a movie but then didnt plan properly. My mum, always like that lucky i was not with them.. i was about to go bugis then uhh.. mum wanted to go Pasir ris.. so i got to check for them and then waited.. being alone. so emo. that me.. LOL but im not!! fuck it. watch chirstmas coral?? okae uhh. but i want Paranormal activices leh.. my two sister cant watch it coz of their age.. urgh. my mum brought a burgers for us.. so we got to hide the burgers in the bag to get in the movie.. hehe.. i was then hungry. eat in the morning.. ..finish the burger fast.. hehs. wat a monters. LOL.. kaez end back to todae..

todae nothing much happen.. me stay up at home. end up sleep mostly. and i hate it! coz i will then have a headache. cant sleep when is afternoon. only night i wonldnt have.. derr.. ofcoz leh.. hahaaa.. hah. urgh.. still having it.. damn! exam next week and persentation next next week.. do you think i could make it. i wish i could. i really need to stop slacking and to work for it.. faith? i just feel so empty.. empty. im suck of life. do you think? i dont know. now.. my laughter and smile most are awhile i guess.. and i felt dead. dunia ending is end.. and i this like. what derr.. i know where i be end up. hell thats for sure.. .. kaez.. i am.. just urrgh.. just. igrone tis stuff. type. type. to let my heahache go away go.. go please. please.. forget it. need panadol. ugrh. later dont want it now.. .. nope. dont need. heyy hoo. watever. fuck it. urgh. haix... ..

"im girl.. afraid of what gonna happen.. tommorrow.
i just wish it was okae everyday. you came then i dont need to be worry..
but then now i dont it anymore.. my faith fading..
you promise. i remember it. now.. you were just so busy.
so i didnt want to disturb it. im extra..
my school work is just so.. is not that is me.
urgh. yup me.. stupid me!!. making myself difficutl.
why im so stubborn. such like a idiot. watever.

watever.. "

i seriously want to start back. or i want most not to grow up.. i want to be teenage forever.. growing up scare me. once i want to grow when i urgh. him!. fuck. feel dont need to worry about.. haiz.. now.. nothing for now. mit me first.. i was shy first, quiet dont noe what to say or i just love watching you =], smile if i noe you or im so terriblely shy,.. if what to noe.. im in kid ways, minah talking, mature, my crazy sudden appear. laugh loudy erm. got.. if make me.. im ramdom. but i like it. noww, then i realise it.. watever.. i got to love myself?.. then how can i love others.. rite?!?.. when i dont love myself therefore be dead uh.. if hate of being of yourself.. kill!! hahaa.. emo. so yar im not!! just emotional. hehs. but really dont label me that rites.. said for fun i dont mind.. hahs. on joke on fun. =) LOL.. so there whatz in my mind.. mixs stuff. blah blah blah..

ps: thinking and wondering dear..

wat. am i over acting..

2009-11-21T20:54:00.000+08:00

urgh.. wat??!.. i dont know.. wat is this? im freaking dun understand you.. are you keeping ur promise. you'are now to yourself and to your friends.. tell me the truth. im just feel so weaking.. ..

ps: 3

exam and.. shit! my pants!!!

2009-11-19T07:11:00.002+08:00

todae was my exam.. PHOTOSHOP!! <3 hehs.. so i dun really dun nid to learn.. but during the exam i didnt really get to finish it.. should just edit one only.. We got to edit two.. So not enough time to finish to all.. never mind atleast i edit some.. rite2 my frenz?.. hehs..

during that time too i was in my uncomfortable mood.. in my 2nd dae.. girl thinky. gosh.. DAMN IT!! so i rush to toliet and then when home.. .. urgh.. .. i was standing in the bus all the way.. forget of the people think was, in the bus as if i care. .. i was Uurgh!.. in my mind, fast faster.. .. then it was rainning i got caught it. luckly, i got my jackeyy.. was down to the bus wear it and walking quickly home..

homie at last, was to bathroom and bath.. what a relive.. ~fuh.. wanna to study.. and i FALL asleep.. sleep about 4hours. wake up i felt a headache.. urgh.. .. staright away take my theory book and study.. still study.. kaez end.. got back to stud now..

And GD Luck to My DEAREST FRIEND!! ALL THE BEST RITES!!..

ps: didnt get to saw euu but could hear yr voice

stupid me.XX

2009-11-17T12:23:00.001+08:00

kaez I WAS WRONG.. TOTALLY!.. hehs..

AND the TodaY EXAM was EEasy.. =D
hope i got high marks..

tmr??? gosh.. hope i could make it.. .. my autocad and 3dmax.. Uurgh.. i dont knw.. i juz.. watever.. .. i hate for myself of slacking.. so gonna FAIL!! ish... .. i could just blame myself.. i noe im in wrong. STUPID ME! .. i was happy just now at school. hehs.. mit hym awhile.. .. =D den he talk about my autocad.. who tell him about it?. never mind.. thankz for yours concern dear.. .. im juzt so like giveup on it.. .. hate hate! urgh.. me!!! .. .. so dead.

bbye nitex.. good for exam my dear frenz..

bored. death.

2009-11-16T15:13:00.004+08:00

behide the eyeliner
i stare out of now where..
deeply.. wondering.. thinking..
losing.. fading..
im so watever... rite?!

darkness...

im bored.

urgh!

end
ps.. euu

blank??

2009-11-15T14:56:00.005+08:00

hey dearest friends...

i'm not sure.. maybe im just too emotional.. i guess so.. ..

urgh.. i just hate to be alone..thoughs of mine..

Uurgh.. i dun want to think of it..just keep appearing.. headache??.. Damn it!...

make me busy. i want to hear ur voice. .. haix.. never mind..

exam. im afraid. my sch works. uurgh..

am i able to finish it all?. i wish i can...

i have should have not been slack.

now i noe.. hopefully, next year i wouldnt do it..

next year, CCA??... for the sick of the points.

dear, .. .. you still waiting for me rite?..

haix.. tat tyme.. eu saw me?..

my hair suck to the core!..

my faith is dying..

thoughs appear. tears came.

i just hate it..

pain?..

watever.

im just over acting.

i make it a problem.

rite?..

Uurgh.

feel lifeless.

.:dead:.

mm...

2009-11-12T23:27:00.003+08:00

Hey dear frenz..

yea.. new hair??. which hair do you prefer?..
write in my tagbox rites..

exam left four daes.. haix. i got to study..
start now?.. YES!! it must..
urgh.. can i pass my exam?..
hopefully can.. "- _-

you. hym.
said he kinda solve it ready.
good. izit true? .
but i'm now.. so lost now..
idk. im so nonsense rite?..

feeling helpless. exam. im so blank..
so scare. my sch work idk..
im so dead..
dead.

new cut. wondering~..

2009-11-09T22:56:00.001+08:00

heyy yaw!!!

cut hair yesterday.. .. gosh..

went school todae.. wanna hid it but cnt..

dia saw it first when i open the door..

"cute".. urgh.. .. my hair.. lol.

watever..

he make me wonder~..

chat awhile wit hym.. haix.. please b okae dear..

i juz to got to keep my faith up myself then.. ..

sch work.. urgh.. .. gosh.. hope i can finish it!!

so yar.. .. nyte..

ps:- imysm

... .. haix...

2009-11-05T15:09:00.000+08:00

... ... nothing to said... ...

bored.

hugges ppl??..

...tis suck...

idk

2009-11-04T23:10:00.000+08:00

been long nvr post.. hehs.. haix.. dun feel like it..

feelin of givingup of tis stupid sch work.. fuck! urgh..

but i must not.. .. got to try.. juz got to..

saw hym at sch for awhile.. wish could hug.. huu~ never mind..

how can be so close but yet so far.. atleast i saw hym..

he call my name.. =)

and i bought a cake for hym.. =) for his ytd b'dae..

swit tk? hahs..

tis is first tyme i bought a cake for a guy. .. =)

and hym too for a person bought it.. haix..

i lurf hym.. .. txt me dear.. .. ..i miss euu..

even i dun look like.. but i do..

i lurf eu alwaes and ever.. and i will remember ur promise..

nites ppl and eu too dear..

haix.. =)

2009-10-02T17:20:00.000+08:00

Avril Lavigne Confirms: "Deryck and I Are Separating" good leh.. hahaa..
Thursday – September 17, 2009 – 7:32pm

tot hiding it was okae.. gosh..

i cant help it.. and juz got to tell him..

hes toos erm.. hide it lyke me. hahaa..

yesterdae nite i was shock X2..

hahas..

was so damn sudden.. and im sorie i hurt someone..

i pray eu for ur happiness..

now im so.. bless.. =))

thankz god..

im so speckless now.

im just so hapie i guess...

nt sure when it last.. hopefully forever.. <3

my heartbeat start to came alive.

and i can breath!!

kinda hapie.

2009-09-29T23:27:00.002+08:00

wei wei people! hehs..

todae i feel clam. =) werid. but i like it..

went out wit my fren. its a guy. hehs.. OH MAN! why was im so shy. gosh.. hahaa..
we went far east walk walk to cityhall.. hehs.. kinda stop some malls..

i was like ermm.. so the shy. said that ready.. hahaa.. and i dont talk that much.

he kept said "why quiet" hahs.. he also kept repeat what i said. ugrh. same as my friends.. hahs..

said that its CUTE!.. hahaa.. kaez..

hes kinda okea. hehs. bluek! ermm... if i noe better. ill cmmt many.. for now..
i getting headache. URRGH!! but i dun care.. part of me ready.. haiix..

and got to stop thinking of my ex.

coz.. erm.. cant tell. dun wan to shame hym.. its totally hard..

i juz got to try my best.

thats all i wanna said.. nitex.

2009-09-25T23:18:00.000+08:00

i wakeup early about nine plus and i slept late. as pernormal, i was at home and it was so boring. huhu. but is okae coz im used to it. then about plus my sis and me went to fetch my small cuz from school which havent yet holidae. hahs. before that i went down to take shoes from fazilah's friend which i agree to help in their business. ermm.. draw is my thing but in good mood. is good though coz it make me busy and rather doing nothing and not to think. haix.

yesterday night, was uhh.. i dont know. emotional me. i hear to this song tilte "my love" before sang to me from this someone that was once i love and it was sweet. thoughs appear and i hate it. when it appear its never fail to appear about hym. my ex. urgh.. and then i cant sleep.. thinking, blaming myself, wanting answer and wanting you. WTF. whats wrong with me?!?.. how can i still want him. cant trust my heart! and myself! weii!! make me a robot! suddenly there was a ringing from my handphone. its was a unknown number and i dont really pickup that kind of number. so i text to that number for what to call back and it was a guy. still nt sure yet and question hym. till i know and its was my ex. which i just tot of. haix. wish that i had pick up it and listen to his voices. he want to tell somthink and but said never mind. so i just erm.. texting hym as if i dont care. as if he care what i am thinking that night. but i care. idk.. why im being so stuborn. ugrh. why didnt i pick it up! haix. by his text i could like heard his voice. how i miss him.. .. and i it was mistake to open that song to listen, i dont what came over me.

the guy which which love me. i cant trust him. lost in nowhere. urgh. same as the boys i text. so fast giveup i guess, tired of me? and it hurts that he make me alive then. now. im lyke. URGH!!. good that i dun have so much feeling about him. im tired of this and being alone left me thoughs which i hate to think. why BOYS.. too be fair why some boys.. can easliy to like idk ignore being so heartless. left me thinking.. .. FUCK LAA!!

can i lyke b dead. for what living if my faith is dying.

bored

2009-09-19T02:17:00.000+08:00

after skool, go follow nana li brithday stuff for celebrate.. its so swit of her. haix.. (to cut the story short) when i reach home, my body felt heavy and so i slack.

these daes feeling worthless and empty. losing..

ps:-

you tell me that you love me.

tell me NO!..

juz forget about me.

dun mind me.. im be just fine.

..atleast theres some makes sense

aniwae, raye and holiday ite nearly near.. =) bet gonna be bored for me.

so i wanna wish..

SELAMAT HARI RAYE & HAPPIE HOLIDAES!!

to my beloved friends and family..

hope you enjoy it yar.. =D

and oh yar!

dont forget to prepare some kuih chocolates!

hehs.

like any other day..

2009-09-15T07:17:00.000+08:00

gosh.. tears.. when its gonna stop..
i dun understand you.. guess you like any other guys..
juz giveup on me.. i warn you ready..

eu lift my faith. now is losing.. hurts comes..

i give the phone no. tot that i could give it a try.

but end the same. or you juz bored then you txts me.

i want answer.. dun left me a [??]

i cant trust my heart.

juz make me a robot.

so that i couldnt feel pain

LOVE??

friends & family

im half bless

wondering

2009-09-11T08:28:00.000+08:00

miss my dear friends..

ytd, night counldnt sleep..

thinking, wondering, wishing,

tears wasted.

need badly for some1 to txt.

kar hee kindly care to txt wit me.

thankz so much.

missyou

i was in sch.

2009-09-09T12:47:00.000+08:00

felt cold. but i couldnt care less about it..

FISH!! stupid flu!... urgh.

in mind: hym

tired of being alone.

hear me out

yesterdae. you..

2009-09-09T08:13:00.000+08:00

yesterday, went to IKEA with ary and ina. RANDOM. hahs.. Ary want to ltake a look furniture for her bedroom. To cut the story short. hehs. i was tired. same as them. stupid shutter bus came late!. Fish it! When i was home, i go staright to my bedroom and fell asleep on the floor. wake about 6plus. nearly my break fasting..

about 8plus, i decide to play net. to see if he online.. but he didnt. so chat wit other my friends.. Wei san invite me chat wit my ite mates. So many lor.. hahaa.. Crazy.. also chating wit my friend dina dino. i miss my sno mates.. gosh.. haix.. and still waiting for hym to on9.. .. at last, he didnt. is he okae?.. pp8 low i guess.. .. he dun wan to b my fren animore?!. if its true.. huhu..

(bought a dark choco at ikea)

ps: imy

dont mind me im only dying..

urgh!!!

Losing..

all i can do is pray.

last nite i dreamt, i was in sadness.. suddenly there was a boy hug me..

i was safe..

???

2009-09-08T08:52:00.000+08:00

is he the one for me?..

im confuse.

i kinda have feeling for hym..

but is nt that strong.

?♥?

2009-09-06T08:35:00.000+08:00

chat wit her my BFF, name khairunisah.. hahaa.. we were crazy.. hahaa..

while waiting and hope he on9..

and he did. =)

cancel the a date wit hym. coz he got to KL wit his family..

till went i gonna see him.. never mind. ill wait..

♥

it izit that much.

2009-09-05T08:15:00.000+08:00

i juz wonder.. izit he the one.. by 2mths, 1 week and few daes.. i feel nth. haiz. but wonder why imiss him when he didnt text me..or izit im asking to much.
urgh.. i dunnoe.. maybe is me.watever happen. i got to acet it.. i guess he my special frew?.. ermm.. i dunnoe.. so confuse.
feel like i'm a stone.i cant hope on people to much...dun want to end in heartbroken.if thats happen.. i dont know..
just a simple wish.. ..

it izit that much..

urgh.. ..

2009-09-01T11:19:00.000+08:00

headache at the moring, so sleep for awhile den wakeup to go school.. but i didnt go. coz of my heahache. Urgh.. DAMN IT! I hate myself. sadly no yet from him texting me. haix.. wake about 1030am. text my ite fren. they gone back home rdy. Stupid me. But i went to white sand to mit my dear fren. Faz, Shabby and Raudah. =). they went to the ex. sch but i didnt. i want to. the truth is i dont to see siglapian people. hurts to go and hates. but i dun do enemy oukaez guys!.. Bluek!! but i miss my teachers.

when i arrive at the WhiteSand, crazy started. hahs.. they never fail to make me laugh. im so bless of them. We went to the library, shamely we got warning from the librarian to keep our voices down.. Hahs.. But rau got to go home early coz of her bro wanna lent her bag.. was too fast to went back lor.. boring.. Then, we plan to go rau place but fisrt i went to my house to take my lappy. hehs. internet free.. lolx.

So over to her place, we was so hot.. i was the first to open my lappy coz of opening of my computer loading was slow.. hate to wait. he online. i was so heartless and stuborn. stupid me. why did i did that.. URGH!! IM SO STUBORN! why dear why.. i dun understand what are you telling me.. im sorie of my rash words i type. as if i dun care. but i do. HATE HATE.. KARMA?! Urgh.. so immature. him!.. same goes to me.. posting PM msn in anger =(. soo.. there.. forget it.. urgh. to think these. now im having my headache. tears started again.. how i wish im a robot.. take my like dear god.. im not suit to be a human.. And yar, wedcam with faris.. we were totally insane.. hahaa.. wedcam wit shabby which in the same place. in raudah room!.. HAHAA.. Totally we are so insane!!!..

taking some wedcam

at night, i decide to go online msn to check him weather his online.. cant stop thinking of this shit.. few mins he did online. he being gentleman. to solve the problem. gosh.. i felt so stupid but i dont want to lose a good friend like hym.. huhu. its was great that the problem was solve.. =))

2009-08-31T16:09:00.000+08:00

my daes of study.. had been nth to me. coz my mood and my sickie headahce. hate it!! did i think too much, till my headahce cant stop. gosh.. need to relax my mind. yes im lost and scare.. help dear god. make it go away. let my mind be peace.

faz 17th b'dae. =) buke kt luar..

2009-08-31T11:07:00.000+08:00

still yet no msg from hym. faith started. losing.. Anyway, its my BFF b'dae!!! Ziiela Dear! =) So wish her at midnight. love yar gurl. why he didnt text me.. Did i do something wrong. tell me. pls. im losing it... haix.. that night, my two smll sis and mom went BLK 210.. Go break at Tamp east with NP. got shakes hand with Mr Mak Bon Tan.. watever, so like mcm paham.. hahaa.. thats end. And i sleep at 4plus.. gosh.i oline and waiting if he got online. but he didnt.. urgh!.. better luck next tyme. So i chat with my other friend.. haix. just wish wish it.. its juz a simple wish..

mai bake with her fren for their teacher 4 teacher's dae. b4 coimng to BLk 210

witmy sis dancer frenz..

get it out!!! URgh!!!

2009-08-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

life can be so suck.. but is test for us. god noes what are we doing and our rites. so dun misunderstand.i believe it the test it making for me i guess.. im just like any other girl whose is lost, confuse, always gets tired, a dreamer, weak and weird. so i been crying not coz of someone, no more of that is just wasted but at keast i feel needed and safe. crying of trying my best to search a rite path, thinking am i doing the rite thing, why am i not serious in my sch... why why.. i feel im still a kid back in secondary. wish i could be teens forever. back then was so easy, that i could catch up my unfinish work by simply learn by myself. growing up.. gosh. so getting harder and more confusing stuff appear. i want to slow down and if can go back and stop the time. im scare that i could not support my family. i dont feel like study anymore but i just got to force myself to go and study too. if i fail i'll noe what to do i guess. urgh!.. its just no use sometimes. i just need someone that could understand me what going through my mind rite now and give me faith. everyday of my life, my faith is losing. im asking too much. so sorie. i just wanna get this all out my head. if can i wanna to srceam out loud. my head hurts thinking off these.

i give people hope. coz i dun wan they to be sad. it kill me to see my love ones hurt. i dun care if im hurt or whatever shit it is. i just could piss off or be hater to all that moment and daes, months pass i be okae.. but it really takes long time for me. haix.. my love ones come first for me. i love them so much. they make me happy. so thankyu all. but my mind is just so many stuff. it will be a sudden thinkin. mostly of the time coz movie and show i seen. they give me thoughs to thinking.. so im scare always.. so help me dear friends to be there for me. help to feel alive in me. coz my soul is dead. at least tell me that im not alone. so hear me whatever my soulmate is. i wait for you so be patience. cause i want to feel how are you truly there for me, that could make my heart soft again, understand me and more. and when it touches my heart.. i be in tears?.. nah.. i just couldnt believe it.. i guess.

yes im a dreamer but im not a believer.. so try me.. coz i dun believe in happy endings..

haix..

2009-08-30T11:04:00.001+08:00

he didnt text.. i guess he didnt want to b friend with me.. like the others.. forget it.. or maybe other reason.. think positive tasha!..

PS: ily

he was fine. present in advance. buke luar. imy.

2009-08-29T10:42:00.000+08:00

Its was my ex. b'dae so i wish, he turn 18 tis year.. tot he didnt reply but he did.. still the same old hym, a happy-go-lucky guy. thats good to noe. =) And i wake up late again. HATE IT!!!! stupid headache and stubborn me of waking up late. i spent at sch about 2 hours. Gosh.. hahaa.. that day too meet frenz plan to go break fast at outside.. Ermm.. Kampong chai chee.. watever izit. hahs. Shockingly, we was early and the first customer.. hahaa.. WTH man!.. then, its tyme of our break fast. like pernormal i order chicken rice ♥ .hehs.. its the fast way to eat finish. Oops.. theres missing part, hehe.. me and raudah bought a present for fuzzy. Give her in advance. =) she was shock coz her face appear when she open the present. it's a frame of picture memories.. haix.. miss it so much those daes...

.:memories frame:.
After that, we went to gelyang.. gosh. hate that place so many YP rep and minah. anti them. Siglapian people tk sak tkd der... (sorie to said tt). We meet our old fren fadli.. erm.. raudah ex.. tu pun nk bilang. Lolx.. i was having fun but my mind was thinkin of him.. wish that he to text me.. idk.. haix.. watz wrong with. =X Soon after that night he text me, when i was otw home.. =))))) hehs..

you n hym.

2009-08-24T00:49:00.001+08:00

this afternoon chat wit him.. i at my fren house.. editing some pic that my fren want to see i edit it. my ex was online too.. so i said hey. he always reply late. im guess he got alot of fren to chat wit but never mind. few min he reply.. asking how am i?. share some music video at youtude. so i listen. so proprely. but still chatin wit the funnie kid. the last song.. why must eu let me hear it... haix.. eu make me sad. i was in good mood den my mind filled wit thoughs. starting to forget eu but you make me remmeber.. .. feel the love for eu somewhere there but is weaking.. noo. i cant love eu.. urgh!. i desevre better. i do rite?.

Vagetoz - Kehadiranmu

the last song eu give.

kehadiranmu dirimu susana baru

kau mampu tenangkan akudi saat risua dalam hatiku

lembutnya sikapmu mekulukan hati ini

terbuai aku terlera oleh dirimu, oleh dirimu.. ho..

chours

jantungpun bergetar saat engkau ada di dekatku

munkinkah diriku telah jatuh cinta pada dirimu.. ho..

sepikah dirimu mencuba untuk melupakanmunamun

ku tak bisa kau pun s'lalu di dalam hatiku

dan biarkan semua mengalir adanya kuyakinkan pun pahami (persaanku)x2.

did you realli mean it.. or juz eu give for fun.. .. .. if eu mean it. .. haix.. and you noe isnt simple and never easy to forget. how can i forget just like when eu the one make smile and eu there to ligth my every dae.. how we start and end there. eu always remind in my memorie. to breath withouh eu but i have to.. even is kill me to see you go... and i dun wan to see eu hurt.. pls dear.. b strong.. i will b there to pray 4 you..

im hapie.. and idk..

2009-08-02T11:36:00.000+08:00

feeling bored at home... so i decide to go beach wit my adorable sis.. want to know her?.. hahaa.. just kiddy.like always we take pictures. first we go buy our food at WS. stupid people looking at us like never seen people taking picture. weird! hahs..

on that dae too i got my lappy.. hehs.. im happy. cant believe. haix.. its just a thing, it never make my soul alive. but i'm sOo bless that my mum n grandma share and buy it for me.

happy is watever. thats not important to me now.. now juz is my love ones.. .. =) they hapie then i hapie..

now ..

wait wait... check out tis wedside.. :- heygurlgetthemshoes.blogspot.com i drew some. =)

june holidaes!!

2009-07-07T20:54:00.000+08:00

8june
its was sufi B'dae my ex.classmate date.. i text him to wish..
i went to watch movie tis day.. With my cuz, aunt and my sisters.. We watch "Monster vs Alien" in 3D. We got to wear 3D glasses.. its kinda like a shade glasses. cool. too bad we cant keep it. but i hate to wear it.. Hahs.. my eyes!.. Gosh!.its hurts, alittle.. lolx. the movie was great. my sisters and cuz want to steal the glasses.. hahaaa..

after tat we go grab some food at the macdonal. And we meet Cik.ida.. My aunt's friend. then my big sis decide to go Tamp1 and my other two sisters go tampMall. i follow my big sis. And the others went back home. Soon after we went back home at night.

...

9june
the next day..
i decide to went shopping wit nana.. hehe.. we went to farEastPlaza, shawhouse.. around somerset and orchard. ina bring camera and i hold it to take some pics. love it. =) At farEast i brought a belt cost 20buck. Oh gosh.. hehe.. After that we went to bugis and i brought a skirt cost 26buck.. hehs. thats my end of shopping. its was tired man.. ~fuh

after that we went to tamp. Go brought some snack and drinks. And go find a sitting spot around tamp HDB flat. Our legs was so damn freak tired..Gosh! Cant wait to sit and take a rest. hahaa.. Finally, we found it. We sit, talk, eating and mostly taking pics. Suddenly, theres a man walk to our sitting spot from behide.. telling us to go sit else where. WTF. it creeps me man! kinde insane looking man. am scare when this kinda man appear.. weird.. hahaa.. watever izit.. i just dont like it. so yea, we go other place. We found it again.. hahaa.. and decide to open music. ina tryin my belt. me taking pics.. hahaa. few mins we decide to walk home. walk, walk. me take pics. take, take. hahs. got tired and we sit for awhile. hehe. start walk again and we loo around the flats. there were few poeple around. weird. lolx. soon after we find out that its lates nigth ready.. hahaa.. thats why. we were too busy that forgot to check our watch. hahaa.. what a day out. its was fun and tired. my home was near.. ina decide to go home by bus.. so i wait wit her till her bus came than i go home. we got time to take some more pics. hehs.

...

10june
the next day..
my mother want to go shopping to buy the things that we wanted. That's wit my sisters and cuz. firslty, she want to go meet her friend.. hate it went she does tis end up waiting. when're were going to shop!. ish. after that end we went to FarEastPlaza.. yesterday i go ready.. never mind. i dont what to buy. so walk around the FarEastPlaza and ask my mom to buy necklace.. got discount. cost 10bucks and few coins at 77th street. i got no mood to shop. cause i dont know what i want. i like to window shopping first. hate went i got the money the stuff i wanted disappear.. Shit!.. my mom brought some stuff for my sisters too.. then we go bugis, my mom brought stuffs of my cus and then again some of my sis too. And we go watch movie.. "Midnight Museum part 2".. the movie was okay. went back home later at night.

...

11june
next four daes
my frenz, fazilah and fadilah.. want to go out and fad want to shopping.. so i went wit like der.. ofcoz.. hahaa.. Guess what we go to FarEast plaza and bugis.. gosh!.. again.. but never mind. went eat first then go bugis. fad brought her stuff most at bugis.

then we decide to watch movie. its " Hanah Montanah the Movie".. the movie was great and its gives me thoughts.. the song.. ..
butterfly fly away. listen.

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people who take care of me since im young till now..have to take me wit you everywhere. they work hard to make a living. at night i couldnt sleep you ask me to read prays. knows what good for me. thankyu. back then im a caterpiller and now guess im a butterfly. cant go far but can always dream.. so butterfly fly away.. ..

The climb. listen.

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life struggle. it mean. watever mistake i make. every step im taking and every moves i make feels.. lose with no direction.. My faith shaking but i juz to keep on trying and keep head held high. the struggle im facing and chances im taking.. even some you got to lose it. it knock me down but no im not breaking. the pains its hurts knowing these are im going to remember most. theres always a other mountains to cilmb. is not how fast you climb. its about how strong you are. my dreams and my lightness.. i gotta believe myself. could i? haix.. i must. last love. the pain.

hym

it's not over.

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my angryness and hateress.. i heard this song and felt helpless. my heart was so crush. i keep telling myself is not over even it was. that night my worries gone when friend tell me what happen. but im confuse. you havent answer my questions. why why. Urgh.. im feel use. im not a doll okae. fuck it. you make my heart feel empty. missing.. and to trust to someone about love.. i dont know if that gonna happen..
then to think it again..

maybe its karma.. listen. seacrh urself. hehe..

feeling so mess up.. and couldnt care less.. hating everyone cause of this shit. (sorie) to look back. we had our time and its was fun. no regerts make. memories remain in me.. so dun sad. Good luck for your furture.. and i'll move on.. Good bye.. ..

heres poem for hym.

Before you, my life was like a moonless night.

Very dark, but there were stars

Points of light and reason

And then you shot acrosss my sky like a meteor.

Suddenly everything was on fire;

There were brilliancy, there was beauty.

When you were gone,

When meteor had fallen over the horizon,

Everything went blank.

Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.

I couldnt see the stars anymore.

And there was no more reason for anything...

wish i could erase it.
...

15june
next four daes...
went to the beach wit my small sister.. its give peace in my mind. Pasir Ris beach. hate that place. for the sake of beach. when we were there we go rent bikes. ~wee.. its was okae2.. we went rest and takes some pics even we in bikes. 2hours past. we went to go DownTownEast grab some drinks at macCafe.. then we go TamPMall so bored to go early home.. hehe.. and dump up to farsha and her friends that one of her friend lost hp. pity of her. then when back home.

...

17june
next two daes..
went out again and guess it i went out wit fazilah. toooo FarEastplaza and Bugis. Hahaaa.. oh man.. never mind. she want to shopping. actually went to spent some food for fad B'dae which on 21june. she still asleep gosh.. so decide to go without her. soon after she wake about 2 to 3pm.. ish2.. Faz brought a complete set.. its is a dress, tights and a pair of shoes. i choose the dress for her. hehe. watever.. We also we brought a present for fad its a bracelet for her cause it keep appearing when watever we went.. Hahaa. kinda like a sign i guess.. lolx. back home at night. its was great and tired..

...

19june
next two daes..
OH NO!.. My eyes theres somthing wrong.. Shit!.. hates when it happens. i got to miss to go party and pit.. On 20 and 21june.. i wish fad B'dae at midnight. =) i went ploy on 22june then. cant wear eye makeup.. ish. nevermind.. i can live without that.. hehe.. to count of it its four daes i didnt go out to jln2..

...

24june
next four daes..
fazzy plan to celebrate fad's b'dae.. wit raudah too.. at Secret Repice(??).. At Airport, where faz works theres.. She belanje us some foods.. We surprise with fad by put a chesee cake wit a candle on it. And then she went in tears. gosh.. never tot she felt touched. Aww.. Hehe.. then we decide to go Karaoke i belanje.. my voices totally suck. hahaa.. watever. its was fun.. And were got hungry and go to Plaza Singapura for juz grab a foods.. Hahaa. so merepek.. lolx. went back bus what a long way to tamp. rau went back first.. We went to Tamp1 not to think our legs gone tired already. Hahaa.. Walk in there fews mins amd went back home at night.

...

26june
next two daes..
went out wit my juniors.. atlast, so many postpone.. hahaa.. outs wit farsha dear and Khaii my BFF.. =) we went FarEastplaza. hehs.. around orchard.. eat at Long Silver.. i eat some share by them. cause i wanting to buy brownies. yummy yummy.. =) then we off to Marina Barrage.. take most of the pics there..

...

27june
next dae..
family outing.. just go beach Pasir Ris and rent a bikes.. But it rains firstly we reach there and so we got to wait till it stop. damn it. we wait at DownTownEast. Soon the rains stop.. we when to beach.. we cycle to end to other end of the beach.. hahs.. then rest awhlie and eat some snack that brought by my aunt. Sit at the rock near to the sea. we have nth better to do and throw some snack at the sea. Hahaa.. my aunt start it. the snack shape of a small ball so cute went down.. hehs.. then went back to bikes.. getting to 2hours we go to put back the bike. The dae went hot, we brought ourself a ice creams.. yummuy.. choc chips may fav favour. =) then went home soon we finish it..

...

29june
next two daes..
ite pit. at EastCoast Beach. i went there first.. i got to buy 2 big bottle for the pit. So i waited for them.. .. My mind want blank.. peacefully. wind blow throu my hair.. Soon Mira aand sufi was next and so on few of my classmate was there fer hours.. i took pics by Mira camera.. i be the camera woman. hehs.. love doing that.. =) my friends some cook food, go rent bikes and play kite. most of them them went back home.. left fews only..

that night were celebrate Mira B'dae which on 5july. then Mira and sufi went back soon after.. Me, Ina, Ina's friends, Naz, Ary and Ary's friend went back home late night to finish some few foods. i went back home by bus alone.

...

2july
next two daes..
at night mie and my cuz went out. i want to brought wax at Loyang point. and saw huda kamilla. then i wanted to go to khaii house to take my psp memory chip that i ask her to put some game. After that we go WhiteSand to grab some snack at SoyaBean and drinks too.. And there i saw Suria. then we off to go home. back go to nad house which near to ours. my cuz want to take some things from her. but endup waiting so long. then decide to went back home..

...

5july
next two daes..
Early in morning i wish Mira B'dae.. And Ina wanted to buy Mira present and we share it. we brought chocolates amd card. School open on 6july so next e dae we give it.

.thats end of mine june hols.

URrgH!!!

2009-06-08T05:28:00.001+08:00

FUCk YOU!!

stupid me

ina bad dae..(Hahaa.). damn presentations. stupid tears. damn it all...

2009-06-03T02:46:00.000+08:00

Emm..

fcuk up.. why did i wake up early.. me and nana wake late.. like alwaes.. ahakx.. in sch, mostly they doing the damn powerpoint and autocab. i was hyper on sch todae.. my fren said i didnt drink my ubat.. i tink the drink i had.. REDBULL..

Taken by Nazie , nana and ME too!!!

gg to nana home wit cab and back to sch wit cab. she waste 10bucks. ish2.. tis is got to do abt her bad dae.. cnt tell.. =p ku sempat amek gmbar... while waiting 4 her.. but den she wan to eat 4 awhile... finish eatin her food.. go back to sch.. so lyke dun wan to go back..

i go cotton on!!! hahaa.. to buy bag and assirose(???) watever..
at nitex.. damn thoughts and tears come out.. .. ish.. why!! tis ppl fault uh talkin abt their frewn relationship.. damn it...

Pain that couldnt see

2009-05-30T09:47:00.000+08:00

In this life theres

Many poeople getting hurts

That some couldnt be erase

And it goes same as me.

The memorise that would

Let us remember

By watching two

couple together

And it make us think

Over and over again

That wouldnt stop

till i fell asleep.

Thinking of why you did

this to me. . .

what i did wrong?

why must it be me?

Why?

Some nights i sudden

Think about of it

It just appear in

My mind.

And that make me

tears of silence pain

That wouldnt let anybody to see it.

So now i just dream and lost in

lala land.

And waited for someone to clear it

To bring light in my

darkness life . . .

Done by:

tasha

P.s: my english suck

neverthoughttiscould happen.

2009-05-29T16:00:00.000+08:00

thought you were the one for me. never thought this could happen to me. i was in pain, anger, confuse, felt stupid, in wrong, and i asked myself why am i so weak back then, why i let you in my life that easy.

love? true love. i believe that twice. but now... making me hate of it. to trust a person and love a person. the effort wasted. i give you my heart and soul for you. . .not sure if you knew that and myself too. dummy me.. . . .could just now let it past. forgive and forget. the happiness and the memorise.. that we bulid and its just gone away that fast.

strong? use to be strong back then. i love my old self. a hater kinda. who dont care of this shit. watever. so the no feeling. no goodie me. onli cares of friends and others. . . .

Now ... i could think of is to studying, friends and family. i love them. im bless to have them in my life. haix.. maybe this is a lesson for me. thankz god. and also to my dear friend fazilah and shabrina for solve the problem. thanks.

without them i'll never know.

...

kitsha love her crazy and wacky friend. =)